On my website, I am currently offering subscribers free communication tips to avoid the gruesome money fights. Nobody wants to fight with their loved ones about money but sometimes our emotions take over and we find ourselves putting on the boxing gloves. I'm going to share with you a few great tips that my husband and I use to keep our cool and avoid a potential boxing match.
Let's say your spouse or fiancé just made a financial decision that has you steaming. Maybe they just purchased a large flat screen TV when you have been working towards paying off your student loans. Or maybe they just informed you they borrowed $1,000 to their cousin who is not working right now and you will probably never see that money again. You get the picture! There are many scenarios that can leave us irritated and wanting to yell at them for their decision.
I'm going to give you one important tip right now...Don't attack them on the spot even though you want to bring out the claws. There is a right time and place to talk about it. Many money fights could be avoided by choosing the right time and place to discuss your financial situation.
10 minute rule...Have you heard of the cooling down period? Take 10 minutes or more to clear your mind and calm yourself before talking to them about it.
Think before you speak...You know the term "don't put your foot in your mouth". Think about your response before you speak. Avoid words that sound like you are attacking them or treating them like a young child who needs a time out.
Express your feelings...It's important to think before you speak but it's also important to express how you feel. During the cooling down period think about why his/her action has you so upset. Is it because they made a decision without you? Is it because you were really hoping to have your loans paid off in the next couple months? You need to ask yourself these questions and express those concerns with your spouse. This will help them to understand your frustrations.
Pick a calming location to talk...Find a neutral location to talk. Don't stand next to the big screen TV that has already made you angry. Find a place that both of you will feel a little more relaxed. Maybe it's a favorite restaurant, on the patio or on the couch (don't turn on that TV). A calming environment will help you keep your cool as you talk.
BONUS Tip: Remember we are not perfect and our spouse/fiancé is not either so we need to work together and keep moving forward through these hiccups and trudge on with your financial goals.
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